The search for perfection

I'm contemplating the meaning of being perfect. I see people, everywhere, but moms especially, struggling to be perfect. I struggle with it myself. I would like to be able to work full time, commute to and from work, attend all the clubs and activities on my son’s behalf, keep my house spotless, maintain a fulfilling social life, cook elaborate and nutritious meals every day, be a good daughter, sister and friend, make time to work out three times a week and spend quality time with my son. But doing all those things in the span of a week is impossible. So some things get cut from the list.

There is no perfection. It is simply impossible to be the perfect mom or a perfect person. Its contradictory. Is the perfect mom a stay at home mom, or a working mom? Does she keep a spotless house, cook perfect meals, keep the laundry on time, or let some of these things slide so she has time and energy to play a game of checkers with the kids? Or drink a cup of tea? We as parents and people cannot be everything all the time.

There is no such thing as the perfect mom, and there is no such thing as a perfect person.

If you fight to be perfect, you will always be unsatisfied. You will always come up short, because perfect is an arbitrary ideal that contradicts itself. We cannot be stay at home working mothers who keep a perfect house, provide perfect meals, vacuum daily, and still have life left to be with the children. There is no perfection in trying to be everything. Perfection is not the key to true happiness. The real perfection is in being happy.

What I mean is: perfection is the wrong goal. It won't get you anywhere or make you happy. The real goal should be happiness. Happiness in whatever context works for you. If being a working parent makes you happy, then work. If being a stay at home parent makes you happy, then that's what you should be (if you can). If being single is what makes you happy, then be single. If travelling is what makes you happy, then travel. If you feel happy when the house is perfect, than keep it perfect. If you'd rather watch "the little mermaid" with your kids instead of do the dishes, watch the little mermaid and let go of the dishes for a while. If you like tea, drink it. Just drink it, and do nothing else. Breathe regularly. Move your body because it feels good to do it. Just be happy. Be happy by recognizing that there is no such thing as perfection. Your house does not need to be spotless.

Most likely, ten years from now you’re not going to remember a single specific detail about today. You might remember something significant that happens to you, but I’d bet dollars that you won’t remember if the laundry sat in the basket or not. So be happy. Be happy in whatever moment you are in. Time goes by regardless of how we feel, so choose happiness.

Happiness should be your goal. Happiness is what matters. Perfection is a myth.

Things that are new, things that I like..

So you have probably noticed already that things look different on the blog. We got a makeover and are moving forward! I used to limit what I wrote about to one subject (LGBTQ issues), and now I want to write about that, and much much more!

I wrote a book, so I am most excited to talk about that. I love everything to do with books. I'm an avid reader, and writer. So I want to talk about that.

I spent some time this year volunteering and working with refugees, teaching English to newcomers from Syria. This has been very powerful for me. Taking care of refugees and people in war torn countries has become really important to me. I care about equality and protection, and I challenge racism. I work to see my own privilege and unconscious bias. I think it is important.

I care about Politics. I am dumbfounded by US politics right now. I am fearful for so many people in the US and around the world under Trump. I can't even list every demographic he has targeted in his words and in his policies.

I love being a mother and a step-mom. I might write about my experience with that now and then.

I care about visibility and rights for folks in the LGBTQ community. I care about visibility in media. I think it's important to create characters that reflect diversity in gender and sexual orientation. I'll probably write about that.

I might try and make you laugh. Or I might post pictures of things I like. My book covers some dark topics (suicide, drug addiction, homelessness) and still reads as uplifting. So I might post some things about that.

I'll probably have a lot of questions for all of you. And I hope you take the time to comment and let me know you are still out there. I feel at this point like I am speaking into the abyss.

So, let's talk. Where are you from? What do you think of the new theme? I'm really glad you're here and I'm thankful that you are still along for this ride. Which of these issues above is most important to you?

If you can't comment here, join us on Facebook, and we can chat over there.

Facebook - KRMunro Writes

Exerpt

She was opening up a small box of books from her childhood bedroom, flipping through a few pages and enjoying some nostalgia when a sealed envelope fell out onto the floor.  Picking it up and turning it over in her hands, she noticed the name “Casey” was written in pink pen on the front and there were little hearts scratched in pink around the edges.

After three or four seconds of staring at the letters on the envelope, she came to understand what she was looking at. Her thoughts began to race as tears flooded into her eyes. She dropped the book back into the box and leaned against the wall, clasping the letter. The band of anxiety in her chest tightened and made her heart pound.

This is an excerpt of my new novel that has yet to be named. Follow us for more! 

My new novel's synopsis

So, I've been writing a novel! I've got a first draft completed that I am feeling really excited about!

Here is a quick summary:

A little girl develops anxiety after watching her mother die by suicide. She grows up playing it safe until she finds the letter her mother left her before she died. She makes an unlikely friend and their adventures teach her about herself as well as help her heal from her past.

Should I post the first chapter for you?

Hello lovelies!

Remember back when I used to write! Well, life changed for me (and I'm happy). I have been working on a novel lately, and enjoying life as a mom and step-mom.

I've also got a new career working with kids, so all in all I'm pretty busy. The first draft of my novel is finished and I have a lot of work to do before it's ready to share with all of you

I've recently tried out Varage Sale and loved it, and thought to pass it along to you guys! It's a great little app and website for buying and selling stuff that you don't need anymore.

I hope you love it as much as I do! Join here:

Varage Sale

2012 and the LGBT Community

2012 was a really big year for the LGBT community. We're seeing more and more coverage and support for equal rights and LGBT issues throughout the United States and in Canada.

The USA came a long way. Maine, Maryland, Minnesota and Washington now recognize equal marriage, totaling 8 states that now recognize full marriage equality for the gay and lesbian community, while another 10 states recognize some form of civil unions.  

President Barack Obama has said he supports full marriage equality across all 50 states. 


Gay rights have become a mainstream social issue, with giant corporations taking sides. Chick-Fil-A took sides against gay marriage, and then announced "Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day" which was met with  resistance from the LGBT community and their supporters. Eventually Chick-Fil-A did some back pedaling when Joe Moreno (Alderman of Chicago’s 1st Ward) disallowed the franchise to enter Chicago based on their discriminatory policies. 

JC Penny hired lesbian Ellen DeGeneres to be their spokesperson, and a handful of a few thousand women calling themselves "One Million Moms" campaigned for a widespread boycott against JC Penny as a result. JC Penny reiterated their support for Ellen, saying that Ellen shares the same values that JC Penny was founded on 110 years ago, which is to "treat people the way you would like to be treated yourself, fair and square".  According to their website, One Million Moms has recently "moved on". 

We've seen a pretty steep increase in gay people on TV throughout 2012. Glee, Grey's Anatomy, Modern Family, The New Normal all just some of the mainstream programming to feature gay and/or lesbian characters, as well as discussing issues relevant to the gay and lesbian community.

2012 has seen the "It Gets Better" project, which was started in response to a number of gay youth who took their own lives.  Thousands of celebrities, educational institutions, political parties and organizations have created videos and messages directed towards gay youth, spreading the message that life gets better, please stay alive to see it. 

In North America and worldwide, the mainstream is shifting focus in favor of marriage equality and is now seeing discrimination against the gay and lesbian community as civil and human rights issues.  

2012 was not all good news for members of the LGBT community. Uganda has set to pass a new anti-gay law, which originally set the death penalty against individuals found guilty of "aggravated homosexuality". They have unofficially struck the death penalty from the bill, however jail time and severe penalties will still remain. 

We are still fighting for gay rights and equality locally and worldwide. LGBT individuals are still fighting hard under the discrimination of religious groups, state laws and unkind individuals in the community. Homophobia is all around us. And yet, I see hope. I see a shift in awareness and acceptance. I believe that 2012 was an incredible for those fighting for LGBT rights and equality. I also believe that 2013 and 2014 will be equally as important. So stay tuned, and do what you can to keep the fight moving in the right direction in your community and worldwide.

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So, your child is gay...

What do you say when your child comes out to you? The first thing that you should say is “I love you.” Our first job as parents is to teach our children how to be loving, kind human beings. And we do that by being kind and loving ourselves. We want our children to accept other people without intolerance and discrimination. We teach them how to do this by being tolerant and accepting ourselves. So if your child comes to you and says that he or she is gay, remember the important job we have, in teaching our children to be kind, tolerant, and accepting: and then accept them. 

As parents, we want our children to be perfect. We want our children’s lives to reflect the values that we as parents have bestowed upon them, and to reflect the way they were raised. We want them to be clean, and honest, and good. And for some parents, a gay lifestyle doesn’t immediately fit into that image.  

It is important for parents to understand that your child did not choose to be gay, and that he or she cannot choose to be straight if he or she is actually gay (any more than you could choose to be gay when you know you are straight). Realizing that you’re gay can be really scary and isolating. It’s hard to be so different from everyone else. It can be extremely lonely and scary. So know that your child has already contemplated whether or not he or she could possibly be straight, and has come up with a great big NO.  It is very likely that they have wished at some point to be straight, because it would be a much easier lifestyle than the one they were born into. But he or she did not get a choice. 

Your child was born gay, and shaming or disowning him or her will not make your child straight. It may destroy your relationship and make your child’s struggles bigger. Many gay youth take their own life because the burden upon them is so great. Your child needs you to be strong for him or her, to reach inside yourself, and to stretch your ideals such that you can continue to love and support your child the way he or she is.

As a parent, you should know that your child has always been gay and nothing that you did or did not do has anything to do with him or her being gay. Some people know they are gay when they are very young, and some people understand it later in their lives. You should also know that being gay changes very little about your child. He or she is still the person you raised and is still your child who needs you. He or she still cares about you and needs your support. 

It is okay that your child is gay. You cannot change whether or not your child is gay, but you can decide what your response will be. It is okay to love and support your gay child. He or she will benefit a great deal from your love and support. 

You might need some support too, as you stretch your ideals and change your expectations. There are a lot of support groups that you can reach out to such as pflag or other pride organizations in your city. You can also access a lot of information online that can answer a lot of your questions. 

Be comforted that your child can, with your support, lead a healthy and full life of happiness and success. Most -if not all- of the dreams you have had for your child can still come true. Be there, love your child, and know that your support will be one of the greatest gifts you can give. Know this: it is okay that your child is gay. 

If you have any questions, please leave a comment and I will do my best to answer them!

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My take on promises

I want to talk about promises. This has been on my mind a bit lately, and I wanted to share it with you. We make promises all the time. I made a promise 12 years ago to marry a man and love him forever. I was very young. I hadn't developed into the person I am now. I didn't know about the things I would learn as the years moved forward. We had a son together.

A promise assumes that we know what will come in the future. And I made the promise to get married and love someone forever without understanding how much of the future I had ahead of me. We had been together for 5 years, and at the time I figured that 5 years was enough time for me to get to know HIM. I hadn't given a second's thought to how long it would take to know MYSELF.

We make promises to other people. We make vows and say "until death do us part". We make commitments and say "you matter more to me than my own happiness". Our generation makes these statements, and yet we don't live by them. We get divorced. We call it quits. We move out. We separate when we become miserable. The divorce rate is up to some ridiculously high number. Yet people still get married, and they still make these crazy vows to be with one person no matter what. But they don't live it. We, as a society, don't live it.

I have this radical theory. We should recognize the way our generation goes about love. We should acknowledge that we don't really stay until death. We give up when it's awful. And I think maybe we SHOULD give up when it's awful. I want love. But I don't want to be with someone because they signed an agreement to stay with me despite how they feel about me. And I don't want to live miserably forever because at one point in my life it seemed like a good idea.

So what if we didn't say "Until death do us part"? What if we skipped that part entirely, and we said instead "Until we cannot be happy together". I think if we did that, we might treat love differently. We might appreciate our partners more. We might take an extra minute to check in and evaluate. We might not take love for granted. And we might make the commitment to be together, for the RIGHT reasons. Because of love. Not because of a promise.

That's so gay

What does it mean when someone says "That's so gay"? We hear this phrase all the time. In use it is akin to "That's so lame" or "That's so dumb". Often, the people who use the phrase don't intend to insult gay people and just think it's a catchy, kind of funny phrase. But the phrase "That's so gay" equates the word gay with being lame or being dumb. The phrase means that being gay is uncool, even if that's not the intended message.

A few weeks ago I was in a woman's washroom when I overheard another young woman say "That's so Jew!" I stopped dead in my tracks and asked her if she just said that. I thought what she said was impossibly disturbing. She admitted to having heard the phrase a few minutes earlier and thought she'd try it out herself. It seems she realized that it was a stupid thing to say and said she wouldn't say it again.

Now, in all honesty, I'm not the most politically correct person I know. Just today I walked up to a pride table (with fruit on it) on campus, signed up for the mailing list, and asked if the fruit on the table was 'gay people food'. Then I joked that I was eating my gay apple like a total homosexual. Because the fruit was on the gay pride table! I thought it was funny.

So, I'm not entirely PC all the time. But in public spaces, I think it's important to be aware of the meaning behind our words. The apple was delicious, by the way. Deliciously homosexual. So maybe "That's so gay" is okay with me if it means it's absolutely fantastic, like so fantastically gay.

What do you think?

The Epic Lego Solution

This post is my comedic bitch/rant about Lego, and contains mild swear words.

So my son loves Lego. He has played with Lego every single day of his life since the day he was old enough to play with it without choking himself to death by shoving it down his windpipe. And in his case that was probably before he was two years old. So the boy has a LOT of Lego. And he plays with it constantly. He enjoys it. He stays occupied. And while he insists on making me sit through a new rendition of “look at this new thing I made and what it does and what every little tiny miniscule detailed part is intended to do, and watch me fly it into your face several times” spiel every five and a half minutes (everything you’ve ever made looks exactly the same to me, sorry kid!) for the most part, his Lego thing works for me.

My big beef with Lego is that shit gets EVERYWHERE. And we live in a one bedroom apartment, which doesn’t leave a lot of room for his crap to be everywhere. (We live in a one bedroom apartment because as a single mom, I have no other bitches to pay for all this Lego, and I don’t know what I would do with this child if he didn’t have Lego).

I usually have two options. Suffer through the joy of walking all over makes-me-want-to-kill-someone Lego in my living room, or harass the boy to clean it up, every five-and-a-half-minutes. His response is always “But I’m still playing with it!” He’s always still playing with it. He never ever stops playing with it.

I’ve come up with a solution that I would patent if I had any hope of figuring that shit out and actually following through. I’ve created a Lego bag thing. Okay, fine, it’s only a sheet cut into a square with a hair elastic tied around the corner, but it’s genius, just listen: The boy can play with his Lego ON THE SHEET (Lego off the sheet is vacuum food) and when I get sick of the Lego being everywhere, I can lift up the corners, wrap the hair elastic around the top, and it is GONE. All the things he was working on are inside, and I am happy. He is happy. And I don’t have to feel like my living room is a minefield of Lego waiting to explode under my tender feets.

If you decide to patent this Lego bag yourself and make millions, remember me in my one bedroom apartment and cut me a slice, friend. :-)

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Dear person uncomfortable with the gay people

Dear person uncomfortable with the gay people.

Hello. Nice to meet you. My name is __________. I see that you feel a little uncomfortable with the gay people.

I've heard some people say that they're okay with lesbians, but not okay with gay men, because what those men do in bed makes you feel uncomfortable. I have a pretty easy solution. Picture your parents having sex. Picture them naked, and kissing, and touching. Picture one of your parents on top of the other. Know that they actually had to have done this at least once, and probably did it a lot more than that. They may even be doing it right now. I know that this feels like it should be illegal. I know it is not the prettiest thing for you to imagine. And it sure seems ungodly when you think about it. But here is the thing. People have sex. Some people have sex and it doesn't do anything for you when you think about it. But that doesn't mean your parent's intimacy should be outlawed. I don't think it's a big stretch to say the same thing for the gay guys. Stop picturing your parents or the gay people naked if it freaks you out. It's still okay.

I've heard some people say that God hates gay people. I think that God is going to be seriously pissed off at the people who say that. Jesus didn't say a thing about gay people. He walked the earth loving everyone. And the bible says "love thy neighbor". It says "Do unto others as you would have done unto you". It does not say "judge thy neighbor" or "disallow others the rights you enjoy yourself". Homosexuality is not actually listed as a sin. And even so, Jesus loved the sinners too. So before you use religion to back up your reasoning, take a closer look at the bible, because God is going to be pissed at you.

I've heard some people say that the word marriage should only be used when it involves only a man and a woman. As I understand it, this is supposed to protect the sanctity of marriage the institution as we have known it for hundreds of years. In fact, the sanctity of marriage was preserved from mixed-raced couples marrying, all the way up to 1967 in some states in the US. The sanctity of marriage has been preserved through Brittany Spears' 24 hour marriage and through the divorce rate rising to epic proportions. The idea of a sanctity of marriage is the unicorn of our time. It's a beautiful idea, but it isn't real. Basing your judgments about the gay people according to how it will influence the unicorns is not a good decision.

I have heard some people say that they just don't understand why the gay people can't just be straight people, because that would be a lot more comfortable for the straight people. The gay people would want to know the same thing about you, but they already know that you couldn't be a gay person any easier than they could be a straight person. If you think the gay people should just become straight people, than I want you to think of how difficult or easy it would be for you to become a gay person, and what you would need to do to make that work out for you.

If you have any more questions or concerns about the gay people, ask. We can all be happy on this planet together, if you open your heart you will see that everyone is very similar on the inside. Everyone just wants to love the people important to them, and be treated fairly.

Sincerely,
KR Munro

ps. Don't forget to share this post with those who need to hear it.

Honesty

Today's post is about honesty, and what it means to me.

We all know that we're not supposed to lie. And yet, it is difficult to prevent hurt feelings, or awkward situations, or other people's anger when we are totally honest. How are we supposed to live in honesty when it is so difficult?

For myself, honesty with others is based on honesty with myself. Every action I take, I justify first. Like everyone else, I make decisions based on how I feel, the things I want and need, and how my decision will affect other people. Like all of us, I weigh each choice I make with the alternatives, and choose the action that fits best based on what I feel and what I know. Understanding this process is important to the concept of living within honesty. When you make a choice, you justify that choice as you make it. Most of the time, most of us make these justifications without thinking about them.

Living in honesty means being aware of the basis of our justifications, and being able to share them.

As an example: if someone was upset at me for canceling a plan, then I might need to describe why I thought that it would be okay to do so. Maybe something more important came up for me. I would need to look at my own justifications to see WHY that something was more important. Here is where honesty with self is most important. What emotions were behind the justification? Was I excited about something that I wanted to spend time on? Was I avoiding something uncomfortable? Did I have an opportunity to do something unique that I couldn't do at another time? And how did I think this would affect the person I was canceling plans with? All of these justifications are important pieces of information that you can, and should share, if you're trying to live in honesty.

The problem with sharing our justifications is that in some cases, what we decide for ourselves, doesn't always work for someone else. That's uncomfortable for ourselves, and for others. It's not surprising that we want to avoid that, and that's why we create lies in the first place.

But with practice, you will see that there is always a reason behind the choice that you make, and that is information you can share. Share your justifications. And if they don't work for someone, or you were wrong about something, then you can apologize.

Being honest can mean that you may hurt people's feelings if you are careless about your choices. But being careful in your choices means that you can be honest. You can talk about what you were thinking and feeling when you made a choice. You justified the decision you made, and that justification was enough for you when you made the decision.

As you become aware of the justifications you make, you can begin to live in a way that is easily justifiable. If you cannot justify the choices you make, then you may realize that something in your life needs to change. Seeing this and understanding this can be very freeing.

Being honest is really truly freeing. Being able to be honest with others about how you feel, the things that you want, and then being able to own those choices and decisions means that you are free. And life is much easier when truth is behind all our words.

I am thankful.

I haven’t written in ages, and to be honest it is because I have had a lot going on in these last few weeks and just haven’t been able to write. Chris of “From the bungalow” suggested that I write about things I appreciate and am grateful for. So here goes:

I am thankful for optimism. Optimism allows me to see that losing my job was a blessing. Optimism shows me that being laid off is an opportunity to get new training and start a new career path doing something better. Optimism allows me to see that change can be positive.

I am thankful for courage. Courage allows me to take a chance, to lift my foot in a step towards a new career path. Courage lets me move beyond the fear of change into action. Courage gives me the freedom to create a new and better future.

I am thankful for my family, who let me know that I will always have a roof over my head, food to eat, and our basic needs met, even if we’re all broke and have so little to offer. I am thankful for my family who let me know I am safe, even if I fail.

I am thankful for my heart. My heart jumps in and loves freely, trusts until given reason not to, and loves with such intensity that it sometimes feels like it’ll kill me. I am thankful for my big, open, giving heart; my heart that is willing to risk being hurt, that gives others the benefit of the doubt, and still believes in love.

I am thankful for my strength. Strength allows me to recognize when a relationship is not healthy. Strength gives me the power to let go of love when that love is toxic. I am thankful for the strength to create healthy boundaries in my life, and to know that I am okay on my own. I am thankful for the strength to walk away, and expect better.

I am thankful for my friendships. I am thankful for the friends I have who will put on the tea kettle, or will meet me at the beach, and sit with me and listen to me and hear out my thoughts. I am thankful for my friends who allow me to speak about my concerns, my fears, and my dreams and then affirm me for all of it and allow me to follow whatever path feels right, without judging me.

I am thankful for the friends who will hold up a mirror and remind me of who I am, even after I’ve forgotten. Those friends who will pick me up and put me on my feet and show me that it is still a beautiful day. I am thankful for friends who show me how wonderful I am, that will love me forever, and will always be on my side, even if I am wrong. I am thankful for my forever friends, for demonstrating what real love looks like.

I am thankful for my son. My son allows me to see that day-to-day life doesn’t stop. My son shows me that no matter how I feel, I need to get out of bed, get dressed, and get moving. My son reminds me to live in the moment, and see each moment as the gift it really is. My son shows me that I am strong, and that I can do anything.

I am thankful for you, my community of adventurers. I am thankful for the space we have created to be positive, supportive and supported. I am thankful that even when I can’t write, you stick around. I am thankful for every twitter reply, Facebook comment, and question you ask me. I am thankful that you talk amongst yourselves in the comments sometimes. I am thankful that our community is so diverse. I am thankful for every man, woman, and otherwise individual who is reading this. I am thankful each time you share an article that moves you. I am thankful for every new “like” on Facebook. I am thankful to be reaching you, and more so thankful that you reach back.

I am thankful for my life. It is beautiful, and filled with so much love and support.

Awkwaaard stories

Being July, and Friday, I think it'd be an excellent time to tell you three self-depreciating and very strange stories that have occurred in my life recently. Don't forget to leave a comment, and like us on facebook!

I was at Pride Festival in Victoria on Sunday. And I had been in the beer gardens, standing in line to use the porta-potties for about 18 bazillion years. There were a huge number of porta-potties, and they had those indicators on the front that said "occupied" or "available". Well, one of them said "available". Someone asked if there was someone in there, but no-one knew, and no-one wanted to be the one to go and check. Well, since I'm an idiot, I felt like being all 'proactive' for the lesbians in the line up and prove to them that it was empty.

I marched up to the porta potty, and banged on the door to see if anyone was inside. I didn't hear anything in response, so I pulled the door wide open, but without looking inside, in order to demonstrate to those in the line, that the porta potty was in fact empty, and that they were all silly for waiting in line without checking all the doors. Well. Turns out the joke was on me, because there WAS in fact someone in that porta potty. And because I didn't look before I pulled the door open to make my point, I did not just walk in on him, I actually held the door open long enough for everyone in the lineup to get a good, solid look at the man inside. Hello world, I'm an idiot!

The second story happened in Costco. Do you all know what Costco is? It is a giant warehouse sized store that carries EVERYTHING. I didn't have my son and happened to be wearing headphones and listening to music while I was shopping. I parked my cart outside the cold area, and ran inside to grab some almond milk. I put the milk in the cart and kept shopping. No problem.

About 5 minutes later, a disgruntled older woman wacked me on the behind with a 4 liter jug of milk. I pulled my headphones off to hear her tell me she'd been chasing me down hollering at me for stealing her grocery cart. I laughed at the mistake, and apologized, inquiring where MY cart with my groceries went. She didn't find my mistake nearly as funny as I did. How did I not notice? Both our carts were nearly empty and had typical grocery items in them. I hadn't noticed my mistake, even after adding a few things to the cart. She wasn't laughing. She was pissed. I saw nothing special in her cart. I had not made off with her her purse. But she was mad, and she thought I had taken her cart on purpose.

I apologized, and chuckled with the friendly folks in the isle around the scene of the crime. I retrieved the goods I had mistakenly added to this woman's basket, apologized again, and went in search of my own cart. I had made a mistake. I was friendly about it. I apologized. I moved on. But she did not. We crossed paths multiple times through the remainder of the shopping trip, and she pointed me out each time to her husband, moving her cart away like I was going to take it again. Like I couldn't find those grocery items myself! She even put up her fists and let me know that she had been "ready". I smiled sweetly in understanding, but oh my goodness. You'd think I'd had made off with her grandchild. :)

None of this bothered me, in truth. I knew she had been over reacting and must have picked the best steak from the meat department and felt very attached to it. And it was all okay. I just chuckled. But I felt bad for her husband. She wanted to fight me over such a silly mistake. I still chuckle when I think about her chasing me down and bonking me with her jug of milk! As someone 6'0 tall, I think it was rather bold! :)

The third story I want to tell you happened yesterday at work (I do still have a job until Monday). I was at my desk working away and suddenly there was this very loud crash bang sound from the roof directly above me that shook the building. The lights went out and everything went quiet. My first thought was if the building had been hit by lightening, but then I remembered it's July, and sunny and we don't get lightening in Victoria. (Yes, still an idiot!)

Turns out a crow flew into or landed on or somehow otherwise blew up the transformer for the building's air conditioning unit which was stationed on the roof directly above my desk. Poor bird.

But here is the weirdest part of the story. Apparently, the crow, upon exploding the transformer, became a dead, projectile crow, and shot across the street, and it hit a man, walking along the sidewalk, in the head.

So lets recap today's strange stories. Imagine, if you were minding your own business in the porta-potty and some random chick opens the door and puts you on display and doesn't even realize it.

Next, imagine being vaguely threatened with physical violence by a woman twice your age and half your size for making off with a nearly empty grocery cart.

And lastly, imagine what it would be like to be peacefully wandering along the sidewalk, and then suddenly be hit in the head by a dead, projectile crow.

Weird times.

I hope these made you chuckle. Which was your favorite, and why? Also be sure to add your own strange stories in the comments.

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How to feel beautiful and worthy

I would like to tell you the story of how I came to feel beautiful and worthy. Turns out, I discovered, just how much our inner voice and the words we use to describe ourselves impact on the way we see ourselves and feel about ourselves; how something so simple as using new words can REALLY change the way we feel about ourselves. This post is for anyone who has ever felt fat, or who has ever felt ugly, or who has ever felt worthless, or useless, or not good enough. In short, this post is for everyone.

6 years ago something happened that changed the way I saw myself. I had issues with my body. Like so many people, I felt fat and ugly and unattractive. I had hosted an event at work, and a co-worker took my picture when I wasn't looking. The picture was from the side, from far away. The photo was from a perspective that I hadn't seen before.

I found this photo on the network drive in the middle of my work day. I stopped, and I stared at the photo for half an hour in disbelief. But what shocked me was not how FAT I looked. What shocked me was that it was not the body I had been seeing in the mirror. And what I saw, from the angle of the photo, was my calf, the lower part of my leg. I had not seen my legs from that angle or from far away. I see my legs from the front, or the side in the mirror. And in that photo, the side of my leg looked so vastly different than I believed it to be. It looked normal.

The leg in the photo was not the leg I had seen in the mirror. The one in the mirror, and that I could see when I looked down was fat, really fat. The photo was of me, and of my leg, but it was so different than the one I knew. I knew the photo was real. So I saw that MY perception of my body must be wrong. And I was shocked.

I didn't know that I was seeing myself so disproportionately, and the photo was my first realization that I was wrong about my body. So in a daze, I allowed myself to become more aware of my thoughts. For three days, I just listened. I listened to the words I used with myself. I observed myself when I was near a mirror. I heard how I was thinking about myself. And it was an awful three days.

I realized that I was saying horrible, horrible things, in my head, about myself. Someone would say "How are you?" and I would say out loud "I'm really good!", but in my head I would say "I'm really good, for a fat chick". When I would look in the mirror, I would see fat, and I would think 'fat'. I put that word all over my body, so that it was all that I saw. I no longer saw beautiful long legs. I just saw fat. I didn't see the beautiful smile and bright blue eyes. I saw fat. I didn't see beauty at all. Because I had been telling myself "fat" and beating myself up and being cruel and unloving to myself it became the truth of my body.

And feeling fat like that did not help me gain control over my body in any sense. I fought myself and tried to diet and failed because all I saw was fat. I would eat something, and eat it like a fat person. I behaved like I was a fat person. Not a person who is struggling with their weight. I BECAME a fat PERSON. Not just my body, but my mind, and not temporarily, but a truth about ME. And you can't win the fight against something you believe will always be true.

So after the worst three days of listening to my inner voice beat the crap out of myself, I went to talk to my family doctor. We talked about how I felt and what I saw. He talked about cognitive behavioral therapy, which involves changing your thoughts and actions. The way you behave influences the way you think, and the way you think influences the way you behave.

He told me to look in the mirror and say 'beautiful'. I tried it and it felt ridiculous. I didn't see beautiful, I saw fat. But I knew there must be some truth to it, because I realized that I had been wrong about my body. I had evidence in that photo. My calf was not actually humongous. It was normal. So I must be wrong, and I allowed myself to try.

I tried "beautiful". It felt silly, but I kept saying it. If I walked past a mirror, I would look, and say "beautiful", "beautiful face", "beautiful stomach", "beautiful legs". I was lying, at the time. I knew I was not believing it, but I kept doing it. And if I forgot, and said "fat", I stopped, and said no, that is not true. This is beautiful. This body is beautiful. This skin is beautiful. I am not like the girls in the magazine, but I sure am beautiful. It took a while, but eventually I stopped saying "fat" and I started believing "beautiful".

I also had to change that inner voice that would preface things with "for a fat girl". My inner voice had been saying things like "happy, for a fat girl", or "great hair, for a fat girl". I had been so unkind to myself. And as an independent and strong person, I realized that I would not let anyone in the world talk to me and treat me the way I was treating myself. I would have cut ties with the person who treated me like that. And yet, I was allowing myself to be so nasty to myself. I had to put my foot down. If those words "for a fat girl" came up, I had to stop, and say no. I had to fight myself to change the words I used to think about myself. I didn't always believe it, but I was committed to changing the thoughts.

It worked. I was able to change the words I used to describe myself, and I was able to see myself for the way I really am. I could see myself the way the rest of the world saw me, as vibrant, beautiful, full of life, and full of beautiful energy. I saw my body as it really was. I was curvy. And yes, I needed to lose some weight. But I was not a fat PERSON any longer. I was a beautiful person, with a few extra pounds. I was no longer trapped in the idea that I was fat forever or that I as a person was fat.

And because they made me feel horrible, I threw out all my skinny clothes. I was perfect and happy.

After that, after discovering how beautiful I am, and accepting and loving myself, I learned about calories and was ready to learn about healthy eating. I was happy, and kind with myself. I learned about cardio and the right way to exercise. I was no longer punishing myself with a diet, and I was not punishing myself with exercise. I was exploring those things as a positive force in my life.

I didn't push myself. I just learned, and watched myself, and did what felt right. And suddenly, I was eating well, and not feeling like it was punishment or as though I was withholding something from myself. I was exercising, and instead of feeling like a failure for not going every day, I felt thankful that I went at all. And I started to enjoy it. I didn't beat myself up if I had dessert. I enjoyed the dessert, because beautiful people, happy people, can sometimes eat dessert.

I was kind to myself. I allowed myself to be perfect in my imperfection. I forgave myself. And I was okay with who I was. I was healthy. And I was forgiving myself. And I was kind. And I saw my beauty. And I could accept a compliment. And I could smile and be proud of who I was.

I lost 50 pounds that year. But I know that I'm beautiful in all my forms and shapes and sizes. I am a beautiful person. And you are too. You with your thoughts about your waist line, or your concerns about your hairline. You're beautiful. And you are perfect. You are absolutely right for yourself at this moment. You are everything that you should be. And you deserve to love yourself.

Be kind with yourself. Know that the first step to making change, is seeing the thoughts behind the actions. If you struggle with self-doubt, you can change your thoughts. You can change the words you use, and you will begin to believe it. It will become the truth about you. This applies to all things about yourself. So listen to the voice, and begin to change the words.

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My story of success.

This is the story of my journey, from the bottom to the top. It is much longer than my usual posts, but it was a long journey from where I have been, to where I am now.

When my son was a year and a half old, I separated from his father. (See here for the explanation on that: (Why I couldn't choose to be straight). I went on welfare (also known as social assistance in the US, I think), but it was such a pitiful amount of money, and I knew I could not be happy in that environment. At my mother's urging, I went to speak to the academic advisers at the local college, to talk about enrollment. They checked my transcripts and told me I needed English 12. I had graduated high school with English 11 only, and 12 was required for admission. So I contacted the local adult education school and learned that the course I needed cost $350.00.

I wanted to apply, and take the upgrade course, but I didn't have $350.00 I needed to register. I spoke to my worker at welfare, but there was no budget for courses of any kind and I certainly didn't have $350.00 laying around. I think they probably gave me $800.00 or $900.00 a month all together to survive on. I didn't have $350.00 to pay for English 12, and I couldn't move forward.

So I did the only thing I knew how to do. I wrote a letter. First I wrote a letter to my worker telling her why I needed the $350.00 for the course, so that I could upgrade my English, and enroll into College, and get off welfare.

The response was that while this was a great idea, there was no money for it. So I wrote another letter, to her boss, telling her boss what I needed, and how I intended to get off welfare, and enroll in college. Sure, I'd be on student loans, but I could get off welfare. I had a baby to take care of, and we couldn't live on the income I could make as a single mom working at a gas station. (I did try).

I was told by my worker's boss that I needed to write another letter, which would go to a committee for approval. I wrote that letter, outlining my career goals and intentions, and it was accepted. I was granted the $350.00 for the English 12 course I needed to take before I could apply to college. The cheque was to be written out directly to the school, just in case I was ready to take the money for myself.

So I took the course. I put my baby (2 years old by now) into daycare, which was subsidized by the government for low income families, and I took English 12. I was so thankful. I learned how to write an essay, and to write a block style letter. I loved it. And I worked my ass off, coming in to class when I was so sick, even, to complete assignments. I didn't have a computer at home, so I needed to go into school to do the assignments. I was the oldest student there at the time. The other students were mostly high school drop outs with issues of authority. I was out of place, but I did my best. I got an A in the class and marched my transcripts up to the local college.

I applied, and I was accepted as a mature student. I didn't know what I wanted to take, I was just happy to be there. I felt like I finally fit in somewhere, walking up and down the street sized walk ways. There were students at College who were older than me. There were other parents here. There were young kids who still lived at home with their parents, sure. But I belonged. I was a student. And I was finally off welfare.

I had no idea what I wanted to DO with my education, and the academic counselor recommended I try a few different things in the "University transfer" program. That included a huge range of courses such as philosophy, psychology, English, Anthropology, Accounting, Geography, Japanese,etc and 25 other subjects, and they would all be transferable to University, if I ever wanted to go in that direction. I registered for a Philosophy class, a Psychology class, and a Computer Science class.

I dropped my kid off at daycare and bused over an hour into school every day to work my ass off. I got straight A's in that first year. I busted my ass. I became an expert at applying for student loans and navigating the registration system. I absolutely loved the Psych 101 class "Issues in Contemporary Psychology" class, and decided to take more of those. I was also enjoyed English, and took a bunch of those.

After a year, I was told that I had the pre-requisites I required to get into the local university, so I nervously applied. I was accepted. I met with an academic counselor who was very kind and sat with me in his office to look at my transcripts. He saw the psych courses on my transcripts and encouraged me to take more of those, so I did.

A year after that, I applied for the Co-op program. The Co-op program is a program in addition to your studies that included work experience for a semester with an academic portion. My GPA was good, and I got in.

On top of my full time course load, and on top of being a single mother, I sat in on the Co-op meetings once a week and learned how to write a resume, how to interview for a job, and what a good cover letter looks like. After a semester of that, I was ready to find my first co-op job.

I applied to a bunch of things and didn't get any interviews. Then I saw a Government job that talked about writing a technical manual for a program I'd never heard of called Oracle Discoverer. I had never even heard of Oracle Discoverer, so definitely did not have experience they explicitly requested. But I applied anyways. I was honest in my cover letter and resume that I didn't have experience with that program, but that I was a good writer, and I was willing to learn.

Turns out, no one had experience with Oracle Discoverer, so I got an interview. To demonstrate my willingness to learn, I had gone to the local public library and borrowed a book called "Oracle for Dummies" and brought it with me. They liked my keenness in the interview, and I got the job.

I did a 4 month work term with them as planned, and then they hired me back for a second work term. When they couldn't put me on any more co-op terms, they put me on as a contractor. I was studying full time, being a single mother, and working as a contractor for the Government. My house was a mess, so I hired a friend to wash my dishes once a week and vacuum my disgusting floor. My kid (then 4) was in daycare full time and I struggled to make time for him. I struggled to keep my grades up. I struggled. But I couldn't fail.

I finished the contract and got hired for the summer as a research analyst with the Government again. I was not studying for the summer, so it was easier to have the evenings to myself and my son without a text book looming over my head, but the daytime hours were very long. I would drop my son off at daycare at 8:00am, before most of the other kids had arrived, and I would pick him up at 5:30 or 6. He was the last kid to be picked up every night. It was an extremely long day for both of us. Thankfully he went to his Dad's place on Thursday and Friday. But even then, it was such a struggle. It was hard hard work.

I went back to school again in the fall, and so the hours improved but my schedule was still havoc. Another contract came along and I was working and studying again. The money was good, but I still relied heavily on student loans.

It took me 6 years, from start to finish to complete my degree this way, not including the academic upgrading before College. My grades were shot near the end, but I was passing.


I started the path so that I could do something, anything better than what I was doing. I did it for my boy, so that he could have more in his life than I could have done pumping gas as a gas station attendant. I worked my ass off, missed so much of his early years, so that we could have more, as a family. He was my inspiration, and when I was in the thick of it, and I would picture graduation, I would cry. I would cry knowing that I did it for him.

I finished my Bachelor of Arts in Psychology. I graduated. I made it. I needed him to be at that ceremony. I needed him to see me in my cap and gown, on the stage, receiving that degree. My mother was there with him, and they bought roses to hand to me. He looked so proud of me, and I was so proud. I was so proud of him too, because it was his journey too. He saw me studying, working my ass off, and he lost things for it. I couldn't always play with him. I couldn't do the play dates, and soccer, and I even missed parent teacher interviews. I couldn't pick him up after school. So my degree was his degree too. His success as well. And he was so proud of me.

Our children need to see us doing our best. They need to see us kick ass, and push ourselves, and become more. They need to see us be successful. I believe that he will be successful and strong.

I was recently laid off, but I know that I will be successful. I have lived through hard times, and I am strong. I can do difficult things, and I can do them well. I have the best motivation in the world, and it is that precious and beautiful boy that is my son.

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Pay it Forward!

So I had the good pleasure to be listed in Dad vs Autism's post called "Pay it Forward", where he listed 5 bloggers that are important to him. And he said some really wonderful things about us here at SLMother! This was well timed praise.

The idea behind "Pay it Forward Friday" is that I now take a turn to return the favor, telling all of you about the blogs that have influenced me, helped me, or made me laugh. I want to showcase to you my blogging friends who have helped me and guided me and supported me as I've been growing. These are good people. And they also write.

So first, I will tell you about Dad vs Autism, who nominated me. Here is one of his posts that I liked a lot. He often comments and supports and relates to my blog, which makes me feel good. He talks about life, and getting by, and what it is really like to parent a kid with Autism. And he's a nice person. And he has been struggling to build a tree house for like a billion zillion years (see story here)

Next, I'd like to showcase From the Bungalow.
This post ( an open letter to my kids on Father's day) made me cry. Chris is also a very nice person. He has encouraged me, sent people to my blog, and been my friend. He has left me wonderful comments and given me advice. He is good. He and his partner Karin are sweet and kind and human and they struggle just like the rest of us. It's a breath of fresh air.

Next, I want to introduce you to Daddy Knows Less. He too has encouraged me, supported me, and been a kind human being. These are amazing people, all of them! I found a community amongst these daddy blogs. They are supporting each other and they just accepted me amongst their folds. I feel grateful and appreciative. Daddy knows less often writes beautiful pieces like this one called "My one and only you". It is clear that his love for his wife is a giant sun in his solar system. It's freaking beautiful. We should all be so lucky. Go follow him!

I feel lucky to be blogging alongside these gentlemen. Thanks for reading their stuff, and supporting them, because they have really helped me feel like I am a part of a community of bloggers. SURE they're Dads, and SURE I'm a mom.. And YEAH they're straight and I'm crooked.. But we blog and we support each other and share each other's work. And it's nice. So I want to say THANK YOU to these fine folks.

And I am also running around being quite busy this morning, and would have liked to take more time to thank the REST of you, for supporting me, sharing my work, and being there for you. You have all been really wonderful, and I so very much appreciate it. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

Sincerely, and with immense gratitude,

KR Munro

I need your advice on this!

Hi Adventurers!

So I found out yesterday that I'm being laid off of work. I have 2 weeks left and then I'm on my own. I am very confident that I will turn this into a myriad of incredible opportunities. And part of that confidence comes from being a planner. As a mom, and sole supporter of my son (when he's at my house, at least) it's important for me to have stability. So I'm exploring the options available to me right now. I will qualify for unemployment insurance, so I will not become destitute entirely, but I need to find ways to make a few dollars while I look for a new job or explore further education. Decisions, decisions.

So I want your opinion on monetizing this blog. I was approached a few weeks ago by an organization called "Social Moms", who want me to direct traffic to their site for a dollar per click, up to a maximum of, like 50 dollars or something. Do you guys consider this "selling out" or are you happy to click a link and see where it goes?

When this offer was first proposed, I didn't really consider it because I didn't need the money (much) and didn't want to change anything about the blog. So, I'd like your opinions on the subject. Will any of you unsubscribe if I have a link on the side of the blog? Will any of you actually click it?

Here is the description for the link:
SocialMoms is a network of moms who are active in social media. We bring our members opportunities to grow their personal brands and showcase their expertise through sponsorships, media opportunities, advertising programs and networking activities. The company's staff is dedicated to bringing its members high-integrity opportunities to engage with each other, media outlets, and the world's leading brands.

(So this means people who blog, or have networking abilities can share and take part in things like what I'm doing here. It's about marketing, and reaching audiences)

And here is the link: Social Moms Social Media Toolkit

I'll post the link somewhere on the left, and leave it there. If you hate it, leave a comment and I'll know how you feel. If you are in support, also comment, and/click it and I'll follow the consensus.

Also, advice on how to deal with being laid off? Tell me your stories!

Thanks,

SLMother

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Gender

Today’s post is a response to two other bloggers I frequent, (from the bungalow) and (Daddyknowsless). Daddy knows less posted an article about gender, in response to this article about a school in Sweden that does not use the personal pronouns, and from the bungalow started a conversation on his wall that I wanted to write about. (Click HERE for the article on the gender neutral preschool)

I’d like to disclose before you read any further, that I’m not an expert on gender and sexual categories. I have a lot to learn, and I invite you all to comment and share and correct me anywhere that I might have been confused. Join the conversation and share what you know, share what you feel, and share what you think. This is a welcoming and supportive environment for conversation, so take part, and know that I am not an expert on the subject (or any subject) and I may get things mixed up. Let me know if I do and I’ll do my best to provide accurate information.

So there’s a school in Sweden that is doing away with the personal pronouns “he” and “she” and is using a gender neutral Swedish term, “han”. Some of the responses I’ve heard about this are that raising children without gender is too PC, and strange and problematic and wrong.

Something that some people don’t understand is that gender and sex are different. As I understand it, sex is the biological of your body, where gender is the category you personally identify with on the male to female continuum. Gender is complicated because we tend to think of gender as a binary 'girl' or 'boy' and it is not actually binary.

We have expectations that boys are supposed to be masculine, and girls are supposed to be feminine, with a whole host of what that looks like, and we don't all fit into these expectations. Sometimes the expectation of gender is so far off what a person is really like, that they don’t fit in. Sometimes boys have a little bit of girl inside, and sometimes a little girl feels more like a boy inside. It is so common, and yet we don’t recognize it in our society as okay.

That’s the point of the school in Sweden; it is allowing children to be themselves without the need to behave in the socially created gender norms. So that a little boy who feels a bit like a girl inside can wear pink, and paint his nails, and be safe. Because kids should not be judged or shoved to the borders of society for not fitting into our stereotypes of what gender should be. Kids should be happy and loved and accepted. There are a massive number of people who don’t fit into “girl” or “boy”.

There is a huge population of gender queer, transgendered, feminine boys or masculine girls that our society does not acknowledge, or when they do acknowledge, it is with judgment, fear, and unkindness. And a huge number of these people, children, youth, and adults, commit suicide every year because they don’t fit in.

They are born girls, or boys, but they don't feel entirely like girls or boys. They feel like a girl in a boy body, or a boy in a girl body, or like a girl with a lot of boy inside, or a boy with a lot of girl, and they get teased, relentlessly for being different. But they’re BORN different, and they kill themselves. So many children, teens and adults take their own lives because they cannot be what they are told they should be, just because they don’t fit into the binary.

So, when I think about this school in Sweden who is doing away with personal pronouns in an attempt to allow people to just be themselves, without enforcing a false gender stereotype onto them, I think, “finally”. I wonder when the rest of the world will catch up with this school, and allow people to be themselves, without insisting that they meet our expectations about who we think they should be.

How do we make it work?

I know many of my readers are struggling with trying to do too much. We are parents, or artists, or workaholics, or renovating the house, or hitting the gym 5 days a week, and we struggle to afford the things we want, and it’s just tough sometimes to balance life out.

For myself, I’m a mom, and I work full time. I live here alone, and my son goes to his dad's three nights a week. I commute an hour to work and an hour home, 5 days a week. That means that I leave the house at 7:45 am, drop my son off at school, hop on the bus, stay at work for 8.5 hours, rush to the bus, pick up my son, and I don’t get back into the house until 6pm. Then, dinner, a few minutes of ‘together’ time with my son while he rambles on about something related to star trek or time travel, then it’s “brush your teeth” and then bedtime. 8pm rolls around and I’m writing, or I’m sleeping, or maybe reading- but I’m exhausted.

Right now, we’re in a 1 bedroom basement suite, because it’s what I can afford. My son’s bed is in the living room. This suits my son just fine because he treats it like a giant bedroom with a TV in it. The big downside (except for all the Lego in my living room) is that once he’s in bed, I’m pretty much stuck in my room. Granted he sleeps through anything, but its not like I can watch a movie or have a lot of company over.

So on the days he is here, I’m rushing around, commuting, working, rushing, cooking, cleaning, and then hanging out in my room, alone.

It’s kind of nuts. And we live 45 minutes outside of town (my son’s father lives 75 minutes outside of town and I need to be here to support that relationship). I’m far enough out of town and off the main bus routes that people can’t easily come and visit me at my apartment. I can leave and go to other people’s places on the days that my son is at his dads. But on the days that he is home, I have very busy days and not a lot of ‘me’ time, and I'm alone.

I think that is really common for parents; having to give so much, all the time just to make life work. We struggle to pay the bills, keep the place clean, get to the parent teacher interviews, play dates, birthday parties, swimming lessons, cubs, soccer, and sew the button back on the pants that broke last week.

Sometimes it is just too much. It really isn’t easy some days. And I am honestly not typing it because I want a pity party, because I’m the last person to ever really get down on myself. I say it because I know so many of you (parents and non-parents) struggle with day to day life as well. It’s hard to get everything done. It is hard to make financial ends meet. It is hard to get ahead. It is hard to save money. It is hard to find time to do it all. To landscape the yard, put on that extra coat of paint, wash the car, clean the windows, put in overtime at work, and mail the Christmas cards. Life expects us to be so many things, and to be perfect at so many things.

I know that it is hard. So how do we make time for ourselves in a world like the one we live in? How do we support our relationships with our friends, partners and family? How do we find time for our selves? How do we balance work, social life, keeping the house clean, and being good parents?

I haven’t figured it out, to be honest. I just live in the moment. I follow joy. I am gentle with myself. If I don’t vacuum for 2 weeks it is okay, because really, happiness is more important than vacuuming. I often buy pre-made, immediate food for dinners, because really, I don’t have time to make home-made food. And that is okay. We do our best. I pay my child to wash our dishes, because I don’t have energy to do them myself. I do what I can. I put the important stuff first. I have a list of priorities and I put the stuff on the top first.

First on my list are the people that are important to me. My son, my relationship, my family and my friends are all at the top. Then it is my blog and my job. Then last is house cleaning and cooking. I won’t take time off work to clean the house or make a roast. But if my son is sick, I will take time off work. It’s easy to figure out that way. And I am gentle with myself about the cleaning and the cooking. If it’s not perfect, it’s going to be okay. I am a really busy person. My friends, my family, my partner, everyone understands. And if they don’t, they won’t get invited over for frozen pizza.

Just find the balance. Know what your priorities are. Decide what is okay to slide, and when it slides, be okay with it. It helps. The world will not stop rotating if you don't do everything. Just be happy, really- because that's what the people around you really need. Happiness. Comment question of the day: What are your priorities, and do you ever let some things slide? What are you okay with letting slide, and what are you not okay with sliding?

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