So my son loves Lego. He has played with Lego every single day of his life since the day he was old enough to play with it without choking himself to death by shoving it down his windpipe. And in his case that was probably before he was two years old. So the boy has a LOT of Lego. And he plays with it constantly. He enjoys it. He stays occupied. And while he insists on making me sit through a new rendition of “look at this new thing I made and what it does and what every little tiny miniscule detailed part is intended to do, and watch me fly it into your face several times” spiel every five and a half minutes (everything you’ve ever made looks exactly the same to me, sorry kid!) for the most part, his Lego thing works for me.
My big beef with Lego is that shit gets EVERYWHERE. And we live in a one bedroom apartment, which doesn’t leave a lot of room for his crap to be everywhere. (We live in a one bedroom apartment because as a single mom, I have no other bitches to pay for all this Lego, and I don’t know what I would do with this child if he didn’t have Lego).
I usually have two options. Suffer through the joy of walking all over makes-me-want-to-kill-someone Lego in my living room, or harass the boy to clean it up, every five-and-a-half-minutes. His response is always “But I’m still playing with it!” He’s always still playing with it. He never ever stops playing with it.
I’ve come up with a solution that I would patent if I had any hope of figuring that shit out and actually following through. I’ve created a Lego bag thing. Okay, fine, it’s only a sheet cut into a square with a hair elastic tied around the corner, but it’s genius, just listen: The boy can play with his Lego ON THE SHEET (Lego off the sheet is vacuum food) and when I get sick of the Lego being everywhere, I can lift up the corners, wrap the hair elastic around the top, and it is GONE. All the things he was working on are inside, and I am happy. He is happy. And I don’t have to feel like my living room is a minefield of Lego waiting to explode under my tender feets.
If you decide to patent this Lego bag yourself and make millions, remember me in my one bedroom apartment and cut me a slice, friend. :-)
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If you have ever stepped on a piece of Lego, this one is for you:
ReplyDeleteBrilliant! We simply have about 1,000 differently sized bins that carry assorted pieces from one room to another, from one level to another, from one carpet to another.
ReplyDeleteYou are probably better off having just the one bedroom apartment (as far as Lego is concerned).