The search for perfection

I'm contemplating the meaning of being perfect. I see people, everywhere, but moms especially, struggling to be perfect. I struggle with it myself. I would like to be able to work full time, commute to and from work, attend all the clubs and activities on my son’s behalf, keep my house spotless, maintain a fulfilling social life, cook elaborate and nutritious meals every day, be a good daughter, sister and friend, make time to work out three times a week and spend quality time with my son. But doing all those things in the span of a week is impossible. So some things get cut from the list.

There is no perfection. It is simply impossible to be the perfect mom or a perfect person. Its contradictory. Is the perfect mom a stay at home mom, or a working mom? Does she keep a spotless house, cook perfect meals, keep the laundry on time, or let some of these things slide so she has time and energy to play a game of checkers with the kids? Or drink a cup of tea? We as parents and people cannot be everything all the time.

There is no such thing as the perfect mom, and there is no such thing as a perfect person.

If you fight to be perfect, you will always be unsatisfied. You will always come up short, because perfect is an arbitrary ideal that contradicts itself. We cannot be stay at home working mothers who keep a perfect house, provide perfect meals, vacuum daily, and still have life left to be with the children. There is no perfection in trying to be everything. Perfection is not the key to true happiness. The real perfection is in being happy.

What I mean is: perfection is the wrong goal. It won't get you anywhere or make you happy. The real goal should be happiness. Happiness in whatever context works for you. If being a working parent makes you happy, then work. If being a stay at home parent makes you happy, then that's what you should be (if you can). If being single is what makes you happy, then be single. If travelling is what makes you happy, then travel. If you feel happy when the house is perfect, than keep it perfect. If you'd rather watch "the little mermaid" with your kids instead of do the dishes, watch the little mermaid and let go of the dishes for a while. If you like tea, drink it. Just drink it, and do nothing else. Breathe regularly. Move your body because it feels good to do it. Just be happy. Be happy by recognizing that there is no such thing as perfection. Your house does not need to be spotless.

Most likely, ten years from now you’re not going to remember a single specific detail about today. You might remember something significant that happens to you, but I’d bet dollars that you won’t remember if the laundry sat in the basket or not. So be happy. Be happy in whatever moment you are in. Time goes by regardless of how we feel, so choose happiness.

Happiness should be your goal. Happiness is what matters. Perfection is a myth.