How do you measure up?

How do you measure up?

Ethan has been skateboarding ever since he was ten months old. His dad would stand on the skateboard with one foot, and prop ten month old Ethan in front of him on the board, and they would roll around the park. His Dad would hold his hands to keep him upright and lift him up off the board when they jumped off. It scared the crap out of me, but I trusted Ethan’s dad, and saw the huge delight on Ethan’s face when they rode together. They both loved it, and this is what Dads are for, right? Ethan had his own board at the time, and he would crawl onto it on his knees it and push it forward with one foot. This boy has always loved skateboarding.

So today Ethan and I were driving to the skate park, helmet and board all ready to, and Ethan tells me he’s changed his mind, he’s not up for going to the park today. So instead of pulling into the skate park, we keep driving, and park by the grocery store to talk. He tells me that he can’t Ollie yet and his cousin who has been skating for less time already can. He’s upset, and he doesn’t want to go to the skate park.

So I hear him and I acknowledge that that sounds frustrating. And then I tell him that you can’t measure yourself against other people. You need to measure yourself against yourself only, or you will never be happy or kind. There will always be people who are better at something than you, and there will always be someone who is not as good at something as you are. I told him that there are people out there who have HUGE blogs that get thousands of hits. I asked him if that makes me a bad writer because I haven’t got as many readers as they do. He said no. I told him there are people who have next to no readers yet and I asked him if that made me a better writer, he said no.

I told him that you can’t measure yourself against the people who are better than you, because if you do, you will never be proud of yourself; you will never be satisfied. I told him that you can’t measure yourself against people who are not as good as you, because if you do, you are not being kind and maybe you’re not seeing the whole picture.

I told him that he’s got to measure himself against himself. I asked him if he is a better skater than he was two years ago. He said yes. I asked him if he is a better skater than he was one year ago. And he said yes. I told him that’s how he needs to measure himself. By that, and if he is happy.

Then he was ready to go to the skate park. And while he was there, HE TOTALLY NAILED HIS FIRST OLLIE. He got it, and then he got it, and then he got it again. We were high fiving all over the place. It was epic.

When I tuck him into bed at night, I ask him what his favorite thing of the day was. Today, his answer was “getting my first Ollie.”

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