The strength in sitting alone

I was alone, in a room full of people. My son was at his dads. I was waiting for the hockey game to start at a local pub. I was sitting at the bar, alone and I just started to type. People were sitting nearby and chatting. Earlier that day, I had turned down the offer to watch the game with family to sit at the pub alone.

Whether you are single or coupled, you should try it. Take yourself into an environment where there will be lots of strangers, or nearly no one, and just sit. Be comfortable with yourself. Take in your surroundings. Buy yourself dinner, and unashamedly be in the moment with yourself.

Going out alone is unnerving if you’ve never done it, but it’s worth getting used to. It can be intimidating, so recognize that feeling if you have it, and just be. Be in the moment. You are okay whether you are surrounded by your friends or are alone. Going somewhere alone is an interesting exploration. For me it involves being really honest with myself because sitting alone is a little uncomfortable. I feel a little bit vulnerable, and yet I’m opening myself to the world. We are more visible without our friends to hide behind.

The opportunity to interact with new people is tenfold when you go out on your own. Within half an hour of sitting alone, I was ushered into a crowd of new friends. The conversation started at the bar and then as more and more people joined it, moved to a table. I had a great time and made some new friends.

Going somewhere alone is an opportunity to be socially closed or socially open. I chose to sit at the bar, where interactions with strangers are almost inevitable. What happens when you’re sitting alone depends on where you sit. Sitting at the counter or the bar gives you opportunity to be included in conversations, because most folks at the counter are doing the exact same thing. Sitting in a table by yourself gives you opportunity for solo introspection and people watching.

There is strength in being comfortable in your own skin, being visible to the world and okay with it. There is power in allowing that vulnerability into your life without acting to decrease it or remove it. It is an exercise in being comfortable with yourself and being your own real friend. We wander around seeking input and validation from others all day long. We can read it in facial expressions, social interactions and pauses, but often forget that the most potent validation is self-validation.

Take time to see yourself as a friend. Take time to be honest with yourself about who you are. Take time to appreciate yourself because there is strength in self love. Going somewhere alone is an exercise in self-friendship. It can stretch your comfort zone and open you up to new opportunities and self-reflection.

Many of us are dependent on others for happiness, strength and courage. Let yourself out of those confines and sit by yourself. Get to know yourself and learn to enjoy your own company and you will discover happiness that comes from within. You will find strength in yourself that can’t be given by anyone else.

Give it a try, and let me know how it goes.