The search for perfection

I'm contemplating the meaning of being perfect. I see people, everywhere, but moms especially, struggling to be perfect. I struggle with it myself. I would like to be able to work full time, commute to and from work, attend all the clubs and activities on my son’s behalf, keep my house spotless, maintain a fulfilling social life, cook elaborate and nutritious meals every day, be a good daughter, sister and friend, make time to work out three times a week and spend quality time with my son. But doing all those things in the span of a week is impossible. So some things get cut from the list.

There is no perfection. It is simply impossible to be the perfect mom or a perfect person. Its contradictory. Is the perfect mom a stay at home mom, or a working mom? Does she keep a spotless house, cook perfect meals, keep the laundry on time, or let some of these things slide so she has time and energy to play a game of checkers with the kids? Or drink a cup of tea? We as parents and people cannot be everything all the time.

There is no such thing as the perfect mom, and there is no such thing as a perfect person.

If you fight to be perfect, you will always be unsatisfied. You will always come up short, because perfect is an arbitrary ideal that contradicts itself. We cannot be stay at home working mothers who keep a perfect house, provide perfect meals, vacuum daily, and still have life left to be with the children. There is no perfection in trying to be everything. Perfection is not the key to true happiness. The real perfection is in being happy.

What I mean is: perfection is the wrong goal. It won't get you anywhere or make you happy. The real goal should be happiness. Happiness in whatever context works for you. If being a working parent makes you happy, then work. If being a stay at home parent makes you happy, then that's what you should be (if you can). If being single is what makes you happy, then be single. If travelling is what makes you happy, then travel. If you feel happy when the house is perfect, than keep it perfect. If you'd rather watch "the little mermaid" with your kids instead of do the dishes, watch the little mermaid and let go of the dishes for a while. If you like tea, drink it. Just drink it, and do nothing else. Breathe regularly. Move your body because it feels good to do it. Just be happy. Be happy by recognizing that there is no such thing as perfection. Your house does not need to be spotless.

Most likely, ten years from now you’re not going to remember a single specific detail about today. You might remember something significant that happens to you, but I’d bet dollars that you won’t remember if the laundry sat in the basket or not. So be happy. Be happy in whatever moment you are in. Time goes by regardless of how we feel, so choose happiness.

Happiness should be your goal. Happiness is what matters. Perfection is a myth.

Things that are new, things that I like..

So you have probably noticed already that things look different on the blog. We got a makeover and are moving forward! I used to limit what I wrote about to one subject (LGBTQ issues), and now I want to write about that, and much much more!

I wrote a book, so I am most excited to talk about that. I love everything to do with books. I'm an avid reader, and writer. So I want to talk about that.

I spent some time this year volunteering and working with refugees, teaching English to newcomers from Syria. This has been very powerful for me. Taking care of refugees and people in war torn countries has become really important to me. I care about equality and protection, and I challenge racism. I work to see my own privilege and unconscious bias. I think it is important.

I care about Politics. I am dumbfounded by US politics right now. I am fearful for so many people in the US and around the world under Trump. I can't even list every demographic he has targeted in his words and in his policies.

I love being a mother and a step-mom. I might write about my experience with that now and then.

I care about visibility and rights for folks in the LGBTQ community. I care about visibility in media. I think it's important to create characters that reflect diversity in gender and sexual orientation. I'll probably write about that.

I might try and make you laugh. Or I might post pictures of things I like. My book covers some dark topics (suicide, drug addiction, homelessness) and still reads as uplifting. So I might post some things about that.

I'll probably have a lot of questions for all of you. And I hope you take the time to comment and let me know you are still out there. I feel at this point like I am speaking into the abyss.

So, let's talk. Where are you from? What do you think of the new theme? I'm really glad you're here and I'm thankful that you are still along for this ride. Which of these issues above is most important to you?

If you can't comment here, join us on Facebook, and we can chat over there.

Facebook - KRMunro Writes

Exerpt

She was opening up a small box of books from her childhood bedroom, flipping through a few pages and enjoying some nostalgia when a sealed envelope fell out onto the floor.  Picking it up and turning it over in her hands, she noticed the name “Casey” was written in pink pen on the front and there were little hearts scratched in pink around the edges.

After three or four seconds of staring at the letters on the envelope, she came to understand what she was looking at. Her thoughts began to race as tears flooded into her eyes. She dropped the book back into the box and leaned against the wall, clasping the letter. The band of anxiety in her chest tightened and made her heart pound.

This is an excerpt of my new novel that has yet to be named. Follow us for more! 

My new novel's synopsis

So, I've been writing a novel! I've got a first draft completed that I am feeling really excited about!

Here is a quick summary:

A little girl develops anxiety after watching her mother die by suicide. She grows up playing it safe until she finds the letter her mother left her before she died. She makes an unlikely friend and their adventures teach her about herself as well as help her heal from her past.

Should I post the first chapter for you?